Black Tides
by moustique
Summary: In a world where Bella never came to Forks, La Push is a much more interesting place to be. JacobxSeth. So far contains strong language and sex references.
1. Chapter 1: Rain

_Author Notes: Okay, so I wanted this to be a bit longer, but I felt I had to change POV and I wanted to start a new chapter for that. Sorry if it takes a while before the next update - I'm new to this and I always find something I want to change when I'm checking my work! Anyway, hope you like it!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters and all credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.**

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><p><strong>Seth Clearwater<strong>

_Moan, moan, moan, moan, moan, moan, moan…_ I was getting better at ignoring Leah's increasingly frequent rants. They were almost never directed at me, but I always seemed to be the audience, which was incredibly frustrating. It was like she was having permanent PMS, and had to unleash her hormones on the nearest victim, which was most often _me_.

I stared out through the plain, square window over the sink, squinting to try and penetrate the solid wall of water obstructing my view. I never did understand how the Olympic Peninsula was still above sea level. It seemed as though there couldn't possibly be anywhere for so much rain to drain off to, and the sheer force of it should be too much for the earth to withstand anyway. The whole area should've been underwater for thousands of years, like Atlantis. Ha, no doubt the elders of the tribes would've soon made up legends about how the Quileutes became mermaids or something along those lines. It seemed more possible for people to evolve fins and tails than it did for them to turn into wolves, as they did in all the ancient stories that the old folks believed in, for some reason that remained unseen to me.

My sister's face became more and more bitter, and I could only guess, considering I wasn't listening, that she was bitching about someone or something

"You know what, Leah?" I interrupted, piercing her little egocentric bubble. "There may just be a small chance that you're not the only person on the planet." Sarcasm dripped from my tongue like venom. Leah was about the only person in the whole world who I was even close to hating. True, she used to be nice, but that was back when she could stand to be in the same room as Sam Uley. Times had changed since then, and I personally, on this matter, preferred things the way they had been.

She scowled, contorting her face to resemble the bitter harpy she really was. If there was anyone I could honestly call evil, she was standing right there in front of me. I'd swear that she deliberately set out to make everyone else's life miserable, but I guess what Sam had done to her was almost reason enough. Be that as it may, I couldn't bring myself to dislike Sam like Jacob and his friends did; he seemed kind of cool to me.

Leah stalked off to her room, evidently genuinely upset that I hadn't been listening to her. I very nearly felt bad for her, but then I realized I hated her anyway. She was my sister; what was I supposed to do? Well, I supposed she wasn't _so_ bad. I mean, she did love me and she did look out for me. Okay, I take it back, Leah wasn't all that awful.

I sat down at the ancient kitchen table that mom refused to replace until it literally fell apart, and began swirling my cereal about in the bowl. I wasn't quite sure why I'd gotten it in the first place because I wasn't at all hungry. Oh well – waste not want not. So I lifted the spoon to my mouth and chewed each hoop separately. It wasn't like I had anything else to do today.

As if she could read my mind, my mother came into the room at that exact moment and asked me, "Seth, honey, what were you planning on doing today?" in that sweet, caring voice I knew she used only for me, dad, and Leah, although the last one hardly deserved it. Sue Clearwater had a fierce reputation amongst the residents of La Push.

"I'm not sure…" I replied. "Maybe I'll just catch up on some homework or something."

"Sweetie," she said to me, with an almost sympathetic look in her eyes, "I know you have no homework left – you haven't left the house for anything but school for weeks. Why don't you call Marcel or Bennie?" Or maybe that look was pleading me to get out of the house. I didn't really want to stay in that badly, but my two 'best friends' were not who I wanted to see right now. At least I had a legitimate excuse this time.

"Because Marcel's gone camping with his folks and Bennie won't go anywhere without him. 'Sides, they're idiots anyway." I muttered the last part under my breath, no need to get my mom all worked up over just how much I was neglecting my friends. All I ever seemed to think about these days was–

_Stop right there,_ I told myself, _you're not supposed to be thinking about that._ I had forced myself into keeping a close watch on my thoughts, but man, breaking bad and confusing habits was hard, especially when I couldn't quite bring myself to make them unwanted.

Instead I forced my mind back to Marcel and Bennie. They were my closest friends in my year at school, but choices were limited. The tiny Quileute Tribal School's student body was primarily composed of elementary-school-aged kids. Many escaped to the larger schools in Forks, Port Angeles, or Sequim (if they were really desperate) as soon as they could. I only hung around with Marcel and Bennie for convenience, not because I particularly liked them. I would hang out with – _No._ I was doing well with the whole 'not thinking that name' thing. Anyway, I would hang out with… _him_, but truth be told, his friends intimidated me a bit. I was surprised that they did and he didn't, to be honest, considering he was so much taller and quite a bit bulkier than he used to be.

She tried again. "Collin? Brady? Archie?"

Wow, she must've been desperate. I barely ever talked to these kids, except to be polite at family gatherings and similar events.

I sighed. "Mom, they're all freshmen. C'mon, I mean it's the twenty-first of January. It's winter. Can't I just stay here?"

Not that I was sure what to do with myself if I stayed at home. My mom was right, I had no homework left. For some reason she was desperate to get me out of the house, and dad was at work, and Leah wasn't much company. I could watch a movie… My thoughts trailed off when I saw a flash of inspiration in my mother's eyes.

"Fine, but you know, you haven't seen Jake in a while…"

_Dammit._

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><p><em>Author Notes: I realise that Seth isn't really innocent enough and also not much happens in this chapter. Please be patient - I'm working on it!<em>


	2. Chapter 2: Brothers

_A/N:_ _So, I figured that shorter chapters means shorter waits between updates, right? So that's why this chapter's short too. Also, it wouldn't normally take this long to write something this size; we're having a sort of 'pre-christmas family get together' at the moment._

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or any of the characters and all credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.****

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><p><strong>Jacob Black<strong>

So there I was, working away on my Rabbit, listening to the rain smash against the plastic roof of my falling apart garage, when an overly-cheerful, soaking wet Seth Clearwater pokes his head round the corner with a huge, eye-crinkling grin stretched across his face. Jeez, where'd that kid get all his optimism from? Certainly not Leah. I chuckled to myself at the thought of Leah's face wearing an honest to god smile.

"Hey Seth, what's up?" I said cheerfully, not in too bad a mood myself. Funny how the kid's eyes seemed to light up whenever I said his name. Huh, I must just have been imagining things.

"Oh, same old, same old. You know, Leah being a bitch and my mom not getting off my back and all that." He held up his fist and I tapped it with my own. What was that about Sue? I thought she'd told me she needed to plan Seth's surprise birthday party. Must be discussing it with the unfortunate subjects she had chosen to help make preparations, therefore wanting Seth out of the way. The date was still almost 3 weeks away, though.

"Yeah, well, no surprise there," I laughed. "I'd be worried about the balance of the universe if Leah started being _nice_!"

"Aw, she's not that bad."

"Hmm, I'll think about that one," I said, feigning a deep-in-thought look.

We both laughed. Although he annoyed the hell outta me occasionally, being around Seth was pretty fun and almost effortless. I always felt as though his cheery aura swelled to engulf everyone around him. And he was a good kid – there's no denying that – it's just a shame he looked up to me. I was no role model, but at least I took some consolation from the fact that there was certainly no way I could've influenced him that much, else he'd definitely be nowhere near as kind and pure as he was.

I suddenly found myself remembering how we'd been put together as toddlers, like Rachel, Rebecca and Leah, whilst our dads were out fishing and our moms were chatting, and how that had grown into our brotherly relationship as slightly older children. I had ended up having the responsibility of helping Seth through all the difficult stages of childhood that only a slightly older child than yourself could empathize with and help you to overcome. I could clearly recall one such occasion…

"_What's wrong, Seth?" I asked. He looked scared._

"_It's nothing," he said, shaking his head._

"_Don't worry," I comforted, curious as to what had him looking so shaken, "I won't tell anybody."_

"_You promise?"_

"_I promise," I said, smiling._

"_Well, you know Erik Hudman? He's in your class, I think," He didn't give me a chance to reply before continuing. "I saw him… _kissing_ Lance Delvecchio's girlfriend behind the school on Tuesday, and he said if I told anyone, he'd find me and beat me up."_

"_Seth," I laughed, though he honestly seemed upset…_

I'd comforted him and then given him the obvious answer: don't tell anybody. Neither of us had seen the point in relationships back then – I'd been in fifth grade, for crying out loud – and I snickered silently to myself, remembering how there'd actually been a fight between the two boys when Lance had found out. To be honest, so much fuss over a girl still seemed utterly stupid to me. But then again, no girl had ever caught my interest. I mean, don't get me wrong, no guy had either. I wondered if I should've found a girl I like by now – I'd just turned sixteen.

"So, it was your birthday last week?" Seth asked, somehow on exactly the same page as me. "16…Wow. I guess I should start calling you gramps," he teased, being only one year younger than me himself.

"If I'm old, you're so middle-aged," I retorted, fueling the banter to keep it light.

"Cool, can I have a mid-life crisis?"

"Sure, Seth, anything you want." I cringed ever so slightly when he seemed to explode with happiness at my words. Way to keep it light – I was already plunging deep into thought. Maybe no girls caught my eye because I was _gay_. Maybe I was even so – I couldn't force myself to think the word, it wasn't true – that I was attracting guys to me, that I was attracting _Seth_ to me. No, I was crazy. Seth thought of me as a brother, nothing more, as did I him.

"Er, so, did you have anything in mind you wanted to do today? Pretty limited choices though, considering it might as well be Niagara Falls pouring down out there." He seemed to process that I felt a bit awkward, though I doubted he had the faintest clue why.

"Um, hmm…" he deliberated. "Well, I don't mind staying here."

"No, no, Seth," I said quickly, "you'll get bored. Let's see… My dad's up in Forks with Charlie, so the house is empty. We could watch a movie?"

"Sure," he said enthusiastically, and something about the idolizing way he looked at me made me think he'd agree to anything I suggested. I got up, knocking a few tools over in all my glorious clumsiness, and smoothly pulled the rubber band from my hair. Seth practically gawked at me, making me feel a bit uncomfortable.

What had brought one this change in behavior? He'd started acting like this a couple of weeks ago: staring right into my eyes whenever I was looking at him, blushing whenever I commented on something he was wearing, his eyes lighting up whenever I said his name. And the worst part was, it reminded me of the look of unrequited love on a girl's face in some pathetic romance. After three days of this, he'd begun ignoring me and avoiding me, quite unsubtly I might add, right up until today. The only reason I hadn't brought it up was because I'd missed him. I mean, sure, Quil and Embry were my best friends, but I'd known Seth since the day he was born.

"You know the way," I said to him, gesturing towards the short dirt path that wound across the lawn up to my old, rustic-looking house.

"Right," he replied absently, as if his mind were elsewhere. Odd, he could've made any number of sarcastic comments in response.

He led the way across the back yard, through the door, straight through the kitchen and sat down on the tattered couch in my living room. I expected him to say something, so I hadn't been looking directly at him, but when the silence became long enough to count as awkward, I looked up. I was shocked by the vacant look in his eyes, glazed over like I would imagine the eyes of someone who had stared at the same spot for thousands of years. But I suspected that he was just thinking, and so I let him.

After the longest five minutes of my life, his eyes refocused on me.

"So, what film?" I asked. His expression was uncomprehending. "What movie did you want to watch?" I pronounced each word slowly, trying not to sound as if I were talking to someone mentally challenged.

"Oh, um…" He got up, strode the width of the room and pointed to a DVD, seemingly at random.

I pulled it off the rack. "This?" I questioned skeptically, holding a copy of _Shrek 2_ in my left hand. But then again Seth seemed young and innocent, bright and bubbly enough to be into that sort of thing.

He shrugged before reseating himself on the couch. Something was up, but if he wanted to talk about it, he'd have brought it up by now. I sighed quietly to myself, but put on the DVD. It played loudly, but I knew that neither of us was paying attention to it. I had my eyes closed, hoping for sleep, as I was strangely tired. But I could feel eyes boring into me, and my suspicions were confirmed as I peeked from under my heavy lids. Seth was gazing intently at my face with his warm, chocolate eyes. I couldn't describe the way he looked at me: a cross between a mother whose child has just been elected president and an atheist in the presence of an angel. Surely it must just be the dim lighting of my living room playing tricks on my eyes. I banished the thoughts and drifted off to sleep.

In a universe of swirling greys that painted a dull monotone of emptiness, a flash of colors, smells, and sensations suddenly burst from a warm, chocolate eye. The infinite expanse was shot through with vivid neon ribbons and sheets of luminosity. They faded, but only to reveal a beautiful tapestry of solid color: reds, blues, yellows, greens, purples, oranges, pinks, browns, golds, silvers – every imaginable shade dancing before me. And the smells wafting through my body were easily recognizable as honey, apples, and roses. These were the most exquisite scents my nostrils had ever embraced. I noticed my arms were curled before me, around a warm, soft, silky smooth body. I looked down, but before I could see who the angel in my grasp was, everything I could see, smell, and feel was seized from me just as quickly as it had appeared.

I awoke, confused and disorientated. The dream was so wonderful, so glorious, and it had all been taken away from me in the heart-wrenching moment in which I woke up. My eyes felt wet, and I reached up to find tears streaming down my cheeks. Since when did I ever cry?

I paid more attention to where I was. I was still in my living room, but it was dark now. The DVD was not playing anymore, and Seth was nowhere to be seen. I stretched, feeling the stiffness in my joints; I must've been out for a long time. Just to confirm, I pulled out my phone and it read 3 am. Three? I had been sleeping for _twelve_ hours!

Obviously, I couldn't go back to sleep. I was certainly not tired anymore. But, man, was I hungry! Not just hungry either… I was freaking _starving_. I made a bee line for the kitchen, slamming light switches as I went. I practically ripped the fridge door off its hinges, and then raided its contents.

About halfway through my second pack of sliced turkey, I became aware of a shape in the doorway. Billy was staring at me with an amused expression painted onto his leathery features. I backed away slowly from the now almost empty fridge in extreme embarrassment. What on earth had come over me? Why had I just severely depleted our food supplies in a spur of the moment pang of hunger?

Billy studied my face carefully, seemingly waiting for me to say something, but my throat was closed up with humiliation. But finally he decided to speak. "Don't look like that, Jacob. I know what you're going through and I understand."

I was confused. "What do you mean?" I choked out, still embarrassed.

"I can't say anything to you yet – I shouldn't. But you'll find out soon enough. And I truly am sorry for that." Well _that_ certainly cleared things up. I wanted to demand that he tell me what on earth he was rambling on about, but I couldn't find my voice again. And he had already begun wheeling himself back to his bedroom.

I had no idea what to do. I stood there motionless, praying for answers. Answers to why I was feeling tired and hungry for no reason. Answers to why Billy was being so cryptic but wise at the same time. And answers to why Seth was looking at me like I was the best person in the world.

Seth.

Where was Seth now? Was he home safe? Wait, why did it matter to me where he was? And why did I feel the faintest of tugs in my chest when I thought his name?

So many questions and so few answers.

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><p><em>AN: Again, not much happened and I'm sorry if things seem to happen for no reason. But some interesting stuff is not too many chapters away! To those who review, I love you all!_


	3. Chapter 3: Force

_A/N: I don't really like this chapter, but oh well. Sorry if you don't either!_

****Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters and all credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.****

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><p><strong>Seth Clearwater<strong>

I lay on top of my sheets, fully clothed and without having eaten. I stared at the random shapes that the ceiling seemed to distort into and tried to make sense of the day.

I had woken up feeling pretty miserable, but I figured that was down to the prospect of having nothing to do all day. I was utterly bored with my mom's attempts to get me out of her way – for whatever reason – and I gave in as soon as she mentioned Jacob. Just the sound of his name had inexplicably brightened my mood and my heart thudded erratically the closer I got to the small red house in the coastal forest.

And then when I got there little things began confusing me, like how I instantly felt at peace when I saw his face, absorbed in his project. And how my body reacted unexpectedly when he said my name, my mouth would twitch because I instantly wanted to smile, and I felt as if my whole chest was melting with the warmth that suddenly engulfed it. And how intoxicated I became when he walked close to me across his small backyard – he had an aroma that could only be described as the scent of the deepest woods, a fresh, earthy smell, combined with the richest, most oriental of spices. And then how, when he closed his eyes, his facial features appeared perfect and smooth, and his russet skin shimmered delicately in the dim light from the TV screen, which I was paying absolutely no attention to, might I add. I was far too engrossed with the god that lounged before me.

And then, in that very moment, something happened which would change my outlook on the world forever. The very purpose of my existence seemed to shift. The realization of it hit me with the force of a thousand planets on each square millimeter of my substance, and brought tears of pure bliss to my eyes. I instantly knew my destiny, my fate, and what I would inevitably spend my whole life doing. I did not fall in love with Jacob Black; I just did not know that I was in love with him until then.

I did not care that I was in love with a guy; I did not care that I was in love with my best friend. Hell, I wouldn't even care if he ate brains, was half wolf, or drank blood. Love was unconditional; even I, with my zero romantic history, knew that. I would always love him and nothing could possibly change that. It was a part of who I was now.

"Dinner," called Leah in a bitter tone from the hallway. I was annoyed; why did she have to distract me from my glorious revelation?

I shuffled slowly to the table, determined to cling on to my train of thought. The last thing I remember was my mom setting my plate down in front of me before I suddenly found myself in bed. The shock of it had me wide awake and my mind soon drifted to Jacob. I wondered if he was still asleep on the couch, his perfect face smoothed in complete serenity. I hoped he was; he needed his sleep, what with that massive growth spurt of his. The growth spurt that had led to the development of that muscular body with ripped abs and those strong, safe arms. The arms that I wished were around me as I drifted off to sleep.

I wasn't sure where conscious thought ended and dreams began, because it was all about the same thing… or person, I should say. Jacob – how I wished I could say _my_ Jacob – had his arms around me with his front to my back. We fit together like two pieces of the most perfect puzzle that ever existed, and warmth radiated from his silky, russet skin into every corner of my slightly more fragile and slender frame. He had his face buried in my dark hair and every so often he would plant a tender, caring kiss there. The dream was simple, and yet it was the best I had ever had.

I woke up to a pitch black room, and immediately burst into tears that flowed relentlessly down my cheeks. I had just experienced the most exquisite and delightful figment of my imagination, and I wanted so badly for it to be real. I wanted to wake up every day next to him; I wanted to love him and care for him and be cherished in return. And that made me realize that I could never have any of those things. I mean, you could tell just by looking at him that even the mention of the word 'gay' would send him running for cover. This brought on a fresh wave of sobs that lasted an immeasurable length of time.

Finally recovering, I glanced over at the clock on my bedside table. It was just after three in the morning. I rolled over and moaned, doubting I'd get much sleep with the horrible thoughts tugging at my attention.

"_Wake up!_" my sister shouted in my ear. Apparently, my alarm clock had failed to wake me up, and she had taken it upon herself to fulfill that duty. To be honest, I was surprised I'd clocked on to the nature of the situation so quickly.

I mumbled incoherently before swinging my legs round to the side of the bed and planting my feet on the worn carpet.

"Shit, Seth, you look like hell," Leah said as I stood up. It wasn't really an insult – there was definitely concern in her usually nasty voice.

"Do I?" I replied, suddenly realizing what I probably looked like. My voice was strangled and my throat felt closed up; I guessed I'd been crying in my sleep.

She nodded, following me with her eyes as I hurried to the bathroom – firstly to shower, but secondly to conform my suspicions in the mirror.

"Are you sure you want to go to school today?" she called as I was closing the bathroom door. Was it that bad? She really did sound worried, so I made an effort to sound normal.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I gripped the edge of the sink and faced my reflection. My eyes were puffy and still glistened with moisture around the edges, and there were almost-dry tear stains on my cheeks. My nose was also red, and my hair spiked wildly in random directions. There were deep purple marks under my eyes, and somehow my skin looked chalkier, less healthy. 'You look like hell' might've been a bit of an understatement.

Relaxing as much as possible, but still speeding because I was late, I showered, dressed, and ate in about twenty minutes. My dad had already left, my mom was cleaning the kitchen, and Leah was scanning the newspaper, presumably looking for a job, as I walked out of the door.

School passed in an uninteresting manner, and after three more days that held no interest, I realized my life was becoming strangely repetitive. Nothing would catch my attention, and that was just the things I was aware of. Most of the time I drifted, trapped in my own little bubble of thoughts. Every morning I would wake up crying from the beautiful dreams that seemed so real. I avoided looking at_ him_, knowing that if I did, it would hurt me beyond what I'd thought possible. That is, before I was in love. The force of love had pushed me up on an almighty high, and then I had plummeted back down to Earth. The fall had mangled me, and now it hurt to look at the sky – the place I could never have.

So Jacob was my sky – an endless expanse that held a million possibilities, each one of them totally unreachable.

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><p><em>AN: So yeah, as I said, I don't like this chapter. Please review to help make this story better!_


	4. Chapter 4: Betrayal

_A/N: Okay, I'm officially becoming obsessive over this._

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight or any of the characters and all credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.****

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><p><strong>Jacob Black<strong>

"Yo, Embry! Hey, man, wait up!"

"Give it a rest, Quil – he's not gonna answer."

"Ugh," he said in a mixture of disappointment and disgust. To be honest, I agreed with him. I mean, what was Embry's problem? Just suddenly deciding to desert us and go off with Sam and his disciples wasn't really his usual style. I watched him walk off down the hall with Jared Cameron through narrowed eyes. What was so much greater about Paul and Jared than me and Quil?

"Hey, why don't we follow them?" Quil suggested.

"What's the point? You know where they're going anyway." It was true. Everyone knew where the La Push gang went every single day. Well, roughly. They went out into god knows where in the woods for god knows what for god knows how long. And why? God knows…

"Yeah, I suppose," he grumbled miserably.

And speaking of people ignoring me, what the hell was Seth playing at? It was exactly _nineteen_ days since he had shown up at my garage in the pouring rain, and he had literally pretended I didn't exist since then. I had never known the kid not to pester me for that long. _Nineteen_ days? Maybe I was being unsociable, giving off the wrong signals. After all, I wasn't exactly my usual self at the moment. All I'd been doing for the last couple of weeks was sleeping, eating, and having huge mood swings whenever I wasn't doing either of those two things. Oh, and also I'd had the most massive growth spurt in history. I was like, what? Six foot three? And another byproduct was the muscles that now wrapped my torso and arms, of which I was slightly smug about. Most guys would have to spend years at the gym to achieve the body I had now.

Back to Seth, it was his birthday tomorrow. Was I still invited? I hoped so, because I intended to go. I had a very special gift that I hoped to give him at our reunion of sorts.

"So what _do_ you want to do, then?" Quil asked as we walked out of the front gates of the school. The sharp, January breeze blew my long, scruffy hair round my face, but it was still a nice day… which gave me an idea.

"Hmm, follow me, okay?"

"Um, okay…"

I pulled him in the wrong direction, out of La Push slightly. The briny smell of the ocean washed through the natural barrier of the coastal forest between the road and the shore.

"Where are we going?" Quil asked, confused.

"Wait and see," I said in a sing-song voice at the exact moment the forest opened out into the beach. The rocks really were rather beautiful when the sun shone, every imaginable color vibrantly shimmering underneath the rays. But I didn't drag Quil all this way just to look at the beach we had grown up next to. I continued to pull him up the sharp incline to the right of the road.

Suddenly, realization hit him. "Aw, shit, Jake, you can't be serious?"

"Dead serious." I turned to face him with a grin. "Chicken?"

"No way. Bring on the cold!" he said sarcastically, but his chin jutted up slightly.

That's right; I had brought him all this way to go cliff diving. In _January_! The look on Quil's face when he hit the ice cold water would be priceless!

I started running now; although it would be great to see Quil shivering with cold, I would have to jump as well, and I didn't want to give the waves the chance to get any cooler.

But all thoughts of cliff diving were out of the question when we broke through the last branch, onto the cliff. Because who did we find there? None other than Sam, Jared, Paul and Embry, all in nothing but shorts. As I mentioned earlier, it was still January! Did they seriously have to show off how buff they were when there was no one else around to _see_?

"Jacob, Quil," Sam said in a deep and very annoyed voice. I couldn't miss the fact that he seemed only to be addressing me. Paul looked at us with something resembling a snarl beginning to form on his lips, and Jared and Embry just gazed off into the middle distance with slightly bitter expressions on their faces. Sam was the only one who didn't let any of his emotions show prominently on his face. Maybe hope and… pity? It made no sense to me. I turned to Quil.

"Maybe we should be going," I muttered quietly.

"It was nice to see you." said Sam as we were turning around to leave. His voice had a strange layer of solemnity to it.

"Yeah, peachy," I said more to Quil than any of the freaks behind us. He rolled his eyes.

"So, basically, you brought me out here for nothing? Gee, thanks, Jake." He paused with a thoughtful look on his face. "You _so_ owe me for this."

"Ha, right," I laughed whilst throwing a light punch which he neatly dodged. He winked at me and sprinted off down the slope, with me right on his tail.

"Jacob?" Billy called as I closed the front door.

_Well, duh…_

"Hey, dad."

"How was your day?"

"Great. Yours?"

"Not so bad. Sue called to ask if you were still planning on making it to Seth's surprise party. She says he'd really love for you to be there." I doubted he'd said that for… oh, nineteen days or so.

"Sure. Tell her I'll be over at six. That's when it starts, right?"

"Um, I think so. But, Jacob, she actually wanted to know whether you'd be able to keep him busy until then." He had a pleading look in his dark eyes.

"Oh, I don't really know about that. I was kind of counting on my surprise appearance for him to start talking to me again."

"That's what I said," he stated matter-of-factly, but a low sigh still escaped his pursed lips.

"Oh? And how would you know all the details of my social life?"

"Harry and I see each other from time to time," he said with a slightly amused expression.

"Ugh," I moaned, "you lot gossip too much! Wait a minute, how does Harry know about it?"

"Seth confides in his father a lot more than you do in me," Billy murmured, so quietly I almost thought he didn't mean for me to hear. And I didn't feel the need to say anything else, so I pretended I hadn't.

I walked to my room, closing the door carefully behind me, dumped my school bag on the floor and turned on my laptop. It was a pretty good machine, if I'm honest, and made homework a hell of a lot easier. But I wasn't on it for homework. I'd had a stressful day, and needed a reward for it. So I opened private browsing and pulled down my jeans…

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><p><em>AN: Ha, bet you love me for that, right? *Sarcasm intended* ... I'm toying with the idea of writing a short chapter just on Jacob's 'reward'. What do you think? Should I?_


	5. Chapter 5: Surprise

_A/N: Sorry it's been a while, I recently acquired _The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide_ (which I seriously recommend you get - even the most dedicated Twilight fans won't know half of the stuff in there) and have been brushing up on my knowledge of the pack and of the tribe itself. Anyways, hope you like this chapter._

****Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters and all credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.****

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><p><strong>Seth Clearwater<strong>

The tenth of February… Yes! It was my birthday! I was officially fifteen!

I sprang from my bed, not bothering to check the clock. It sort of made me feel childish, getting so excited over one day just because I got attention and a few presents. I ran into the hallway, not quite sure where I was going yet. I decided the bathroom would be a good place to start, considering taking a shower and brushing my teeth were usually quite high up on my agenda in the mornings.

Looking in the bathroom mirror, I _almost_ remembered the first morning I had woken up with the knowledge I was in love – _almost_. For if I truly remembered it, it would spark up the throbbing pain of loss. A pain which I shouldn't feel, because what I had lost was never really within reach.

Yes, that would be the one thing that would make this day absolutely perfect – if _he_ was _mine_. If every day I could wake up enclosed within the strong biceps that bulged against the flawless, russet silk that was too good to be called skin, I would never move. If the billows of heat that rolled of his body would warm me whenever the harsh weather that blew off the steely ocean became too bitterly cold, I would never have need for the sun. If he would love me with even a fraction of what I felt for him, that would be enough.

Just these simple fantasies made the tears well up and spill over. I clumsily wiped the saltwater from my face with the back of my hand and slid the shower door open just enough to step in.

Washing slowly, I tried to think of all the positive things about the day ahead. I wasn't aware of anything terribly awful happening at school today, and I wouldn't have to walk home – Leah was picking me up. And then after I opened my presents and had dinner – which was to be my favorite: Indian takeaway – I wouldn't have to worry about going to bed early because it was Saturday tomorrow! So, as far as birthdays go, my fifteenth looked like it would be pretty good.

After I was done in the bathroom, I walked across the hall with my towel round my waist, stopping just to look at the clock on the wall. It read ten past seven, which meant I still had plenty of time, but at the same time I wasn't too early.

Shutting my door, I realized I hadn't planned ahead very well, having thrown my favorite jeans in the wash box on Wednesday night. So I sifted through my drawers until I found a faded pair of closely fitting jeans that used to be a bright color, sort of on the green end of what can be considered turquoise. The top was easier to pick: a white t-shirt with black and white print and a thick, grey, hooded jumper over the top – after all, it was still winter.

I spent the next eight hours trying to keep still, as I was impatient to open my presents, but that didn't keep my mind very occupied. I was pondering the idea of mending my friendship with… Jacob.

_Argh._

I was so pathetic. I couldn't even think his name without it hurting me. Which meant that I obviously couldn't be around him. But I'm sure he wouldn't really care; he thought I was annoying.

_And besides, he has other friends that he actually _likes_, unlike me,_ I thought, sitting next to Bennie in my French class.

To my great relief, Leah's car was parked on the curb next to the front gate after school finished. I jumped in and grinned at her, but her answering smile was slightly sadistic. I grew even more suspicious when she locked the doors.

"Leah," I said warily, "what are you doing?"

"Taking you shopping!" she squealed with over-the-top enthusiasm.

"What? Why?" I was exasperated. "My presents? They are at home!"

"Well, they'll just have to wait then, won't they?" she chuckled, speeding out of La Push, "And besides, one of them is not at home anyway."

I sank into my seat, knowing that arguing with Leah was pointless. To be honest, arguing with any woman was pointless.

Two hours, four clothing stores and one ridiculously expensive outfit later, Leah finally said that we could leave.

"Have fun?" I said to her. Leah had been really into the whole ordeal of finding me 'the perfect designer clothes', as she had described it.

"This was not about me. That outfit was my present to you," she explained with a hopeful expression which I immediately understood. She wanted me to at least appreciate it, preferably be grateful for it.

"Oh! Well, thank you. I really love it." And truth be told, I did. Though I wasn't quite sure why she had insisted on it being so formal, and why we had both put on our new outfits before returning to the car – I was now dressed in a white shirt, intricately detailed brown shoes, a tight fitting gray suit and a luminous yellow tie.

But staring at Leah in her matching outfit – a cocktail dress the exact same shade of gray as my suit, finished with bright yellow sequins identical to my tie – it suddenly hit me. Why would Leah take me out of town straight after school to buy outfits suitable for a party? A party. They were throwing a surprise birthday party for me where everyone would be dressing up in formal attire, probably trying to prove they thought of me as an adult.

_Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god._

Of course I enjoyed parties, but a surprise party puts more pressure on you for some reason. Perhaps it has something to do with the lack of time to prepare. But whatever the reason, I couldn't let anyone know that I knew about my own surprise party, especially not Leah. Because it was probably originally Leah's job to hide this from me, but she had taken advantage of the situation to buy her present for me – which _was_ ridiculously expensive, I might add. I would guess that in all likelihood, it was Leah who had suggested the formal theme in the first place.

Gah, a party…

Pulling up in front of the house, I braced myself for what would surely await me behind that door. Oh well, I supposed it could be worse. And the eagerness to open my presents and see my family and friends was gradually winning over the reluctance to go inside.

The gravel crunched beneath my feet as I stood up and stretched, and I bellowed with laughter when Leah had to catch herself on the car door. That would teach her not to wear heels so high she could barely walk. She glared at me icily before refocusing her gaze upon the house, which was completely unlit.

"Ladies first," she said, with a smirk and an arm extended in the general direction of the front door.

I sighed, but led the way. Of course my birthday would be no exception to Leah's sarcasm and snide comments. I paused for just a moment on the step, but then opened the unlocked door and took two steps inside, just enough for Leah to follow and close the door behind me.

The lights flicked on.

"Happy birthday!" shouted a chorus of voices much larger than I had expected.

The look of surprise and the accompanying grin came more easily than they normally did when I feigned an emotion.

Thankfully background music started playing immediately, so there was no awkward moment where everyone was still staring at me.

"Happy birthday, sweetie," my mom cried as she rushed towards me in a deep red dress I had never seen her wear before, closely followed by my father, "I hope I got everything right. I wasn't so sure about the dressing up and everything, but your sister wanted to bring some sophistication into the house. Oh, and I know we promised you a takeaway, but it's not really practical at a party, dear, so just help yourself to the nibbles. Oh! But then we've got cake, haven't we? But what about your presents? Do you want to open them first?"

"Mom, mom, it's all absolutely perfect," I reassured her. "Why don't I just go round and say hi to everybody first and then we'll think about the presents?"

"Of course, of course, you want to see your friends after being cooped up with Leah all afternoon."

"Hey!" Leah exclaimed from a few feet away. "I heard that!"

"That's my girl," my dad chuckled with a wrinkly-eyed grin.

"Thanks, mom," I said again. "It really is perfect." She smiled at that, so I turned away to scan the room.

Everyone I knew really was here: My mom and my dad, Leah, Emily and Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry, Marcel and Bennie (and half my year for that matter), Susan and Uncle Michael, Auntie Elizabeth, Uncle Lucas, Grandpa Peter and Grandma Julia, Grandpa Jonathan and Grandma Charlotte, Brady, Collin, Archie, Billy, Allison, Joy, Old Quil, Connie and Kevin, Quil, and… Jacob.

Quickly turning my head to the other side of the room, I decided I would strike up a conversation with Emily Young, who was famous in La Push for chatting away to people for _hours_. But I wasn't quite sure how to start…

Thankfully, I didn't have to. Sam, eternally glued to Emily's side, noticed my stare and smiled at me.

"Seth!" he said. "Happy birthday! How are you?"

"Great, thanks. How's it going with you too? I hear you're getting _engaged_?" I directed my question more towards Emily, who, despite her scars, looked quite beautiful in the short, pastel pink dress she was wearing that frilled out around her waist.

She giggled. "Well… yes. We decided it's time."

…

Was that _it_? So much for getting her talking…

I was about to probe her for more information when Emily suddenly spoke.

"Um, if you'll excuse me Seth, I'd like to go talk to your sister." Oh no, not this again… Everyone knew the story of how Sam had dumped Leah for Emily, and how my sister had never forgiven either of them.

"Em," Sam sort of protested, "now's not the time."

"That's my decision," she muttered back. I'd never heard her speak to him like that. "Oh, and Seth," she turned back to me, "it looks like Jacob wants to speak to you."

I whirled around to see the huge boy fast approaching, so I hurriedly battled my way through the crowd towards the bathroom. But halfway down the short hallway that led to the stairs, he caught up with me. His large, capable hands landed on my shoulders and turned me round to face him.

I supposed since I was inevitably going to have to talk to him, I might as well make the most of the moment. And so I swept my eyes across every aspect of his face and body: the dark, almost black eyes that pierced deep into my soul; the way his nose curved very subtly down and then out; the luscious lips that were now pulled back in a grin to reveal a set of pearly white teeth behind them; the angular set of his jaw and the masculinity that came with it; the long, crow black hair that was pulled back into some sort of tight twist down his back; his muscular chest that strained against the thin fabric of his shirt; and the overall enormity of him – he must've been five or six inches taller than me.

"Happy birthday!" he cheered, rather loudly for the proximity between us, before pulling me into a crushing hug. It was strange – I thought it would've hurt me to be so close to him. I thought I'd have ended up crying, but I didn't. I just enjoyed the moment.

"Thanks, man." I grinned back at him when he pulled away.

_Oh and by the way, I love you._

"I got you a present," he said huskily, still smiling but looking down at his feet. For a second, I wondered if he knew my feelings for him and this was just some cruel joke – the way he shuffled his feet made him seem _embarrassed_.

"Er, well, put it with the others."

"But I want to give it to you now." His voice was low and sounded _incredibly_ sexy to me as he looked back up.

"Um, okay…" I breathed.

_Do me in the bathroom?_

He held out a small box wrapped in rusty orange wrapping paper and I carefully took it. The moment seemed sort of precious, like it should be savored.

"Thank you," I whispered, not being able to find my voice.

"You haven't opened it yet," he chuckled lightly. The sound of his laughter was beautiful.

_Marry me…_

So I tore off the paper and lifted the lid of the brown box inside. There, nestled into the small space, was a thin woven bracelet with my name threaded onto it in an elegant script. The background seemed to be a pattern made up of exquisitely detailed honey, apples, and roses.

"Wow, Jake, this is really nice. Where did you get it?" I was curious as to where you'd be able to buy something like this with an unusual name like mine for a reasonable price.

"Well, I, er…" he began, scratching the back of his head. "I made it, actually."

"Aw, really? It's great! I can't believe someone with hands as big as yours could weave something as beautiful as this."

"Yeah, it took a while," he said, chuckling.

"I love it."

_I love you._

Suddenly his face took on a weird expression.

"Jake, are you okay?" I was instantly worried. I was worried about anything that might happen to him.

"Actually, I don't feel so good." His voice was strained and his features were contorted slightly, sort of as if he were in pain.

"You should probably go home. I'll get someone to drive you," I suggested.

"No, I can drive myself."

And with that, he turned and speeded away.

"Jacob?"

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><p><em>AN: Yeah, so, you can probably guess what's going on :P. This chapter seemed kinda dull to me, but let me know what you guys thought of it in a review! Also, the next chapter will be from a different POV, which I **defy **you to guess. Mwahahahaa... :D_


	6. Chapter 6: Unexpected

_A/N: Dear, dear, dear, dear, dear... This took me **far **too long! I just can't seem to fit writing in anymore : Plus I'm getting bored of practically sticking to Stephenie Meyer's plot line. BUT! Fear not, this will soon change!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters and all credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.**

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><p><strong>Sue Clearwater<strong>

_Ring, ring… Ring, ring…_

"Hello?" answered the gravelly voice on the end of the line.

"Billy?"

Silly. Of course it was Billy.

"Sue?" he replied.

"It's me. Did it… happen?"

"Yes," he sounded stressed and tired, "last night when I got back. I told him he looked a bit weird. Then he phased. Nearly took my face off." He laughed.

"That's no laughing matter, Billy."

"I know." He sighed. "I just wish he didn't have to go through this."

"None of us would wish this upon our kids." I wondered how far off Seth was from changing. It would be so hard for him, especially since something was obviously already bothering him. But no matter how many times I asked about it, he wouldn't tell me what it was. "Has he shifted back yet?"

"Yes. It was almost immediate. And then, as you know, I called Sam over." His voice was weary and tired, hinting at a lack of sleep.

"Billy, I'm worried; you sound dead on your feet."

"It's been a long night. We had to explain to Jake what he'd experienced, and then all the ins and outs of being a shifter. But I can't for the life of me say how he's taking all of this. I can't see any emotion on his face. Well, he did react once, but that was normal. Any teenage boy is going to be quite upset if you tell him he can't see his friends. Ha! But you'd at least think he'd worry about something of slightly more importance. Still, that boy's a mystery to me sometimes. Anyway, he's on house arrest until the Council Meeting on Monday night. Then he's going on his first patrol the next afternoon."

"And he's still going to school?"

"Of course – after a week or so, anyway."

"And what's the story for the moment?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You know, why he's not in school and no one's allowed to see him."

"Oh. I did some research, and I was thinking mono would fit."

"Sounds as good as anything else." I would remember that explanation for when it was Seth.

I was about to ask to speak to Sam, but then I saw Leah rounding the corner into the kitchen.

"Er, I'll speak to you later," I said.

"Sure." He hung up. I laid down the phone.

"So," I said brusquely, turning to my daughter, "did you enjoy your excuse to buy yourself a new dress?"

"Yeah," she mumbled. Ah, that's right – Leah was not a morning person. Though it was only just still morning. I sipped the cup of coffee I held in my left hand.

"Seth still asleep?" I asked her.

"Er, yeah." She held her head as if she were suffering from a migraine. From this, the short answers and the tone of her voice, I was beginning to wonder how much Leah had had to drink. I tried to remember back to last night's events…

I watched as Jacob Black hurried through the room and out of the front door with an odd expression on his face, and then as Seth emerged from the same direction looking as puzzled as I felt. He then started mingling again until Harry pulled me into the kitchen to light the candles on the cake, but not before I could get in a word with Billy about how Jacob had looked walking out earlier. We turned out the lights, brought the cake in and sang happy birthday. Seth then opened all his presents – which there were quite a few of, I might add. After he was done, everyone resumed the chatting and dancing, or just left, until it was only Harry, Leah, Seth and myself in the house…

The evening had really blurred for me – it was just a whole lot of hard work. Oh well, at least Seth seemed to enjoy it.

I set to work on vacuuming as soon as Leah went back to her room: the party had really taken its toll on the floors. Another thing it had really taken its toll on was the contents of my husband's wallet – we weren't doing well financially anyway – and it looked like I might have to work again for the first time since I met Harry.

Once I was done with the floor, I sat down with my cup of coffee at the kitchen table; I had dusted yesterday. I let my mind wander over Jacob's phasing. That made five of them now – already more than the last pack – and there were bound to be more, what with seven vampires living in the next town. Jacob was sixteen… That meant Seth had only a year left. My son: the werewolf. Because there was no way he would not be a shifter – he had Uley and Black genes from me and Ateara genes from Harry. He was doomed to a fate of morphing into a giant dog and there was nothing I could do about it. Still, I was sure that Seth would find a good side to it, just like always.

Suddenly, a huge wolf – a shifter, I was sure – slunk through the doorway of the kitchen. It was a towering beast with very dark brown fur; it looked sleek and supple as it paused a few feet away from me. Although I had never seen any of them in wolf form, I knew I had no reason to fear any member of the pack. So why was a petrified?

That question was abruptly answered as the wolf lunged at me. It tore at my stomach, leaving hot blood seeping down my thighs and torso.

I woke with a jump, finding spilt coffee all over my lap. Great. And these jeans were new on today! Why did life have to be so difficult?

"You want some help with that?" said a chirpy voice. I turned my head to see Seth going to get some kitchen towels from the counter.

"Oh, crap. Well, yes please," I said. He handed me some sheets of kitchen paper. "Thanks. I guess I must be a bit tired."

"I would hope you're not anymore, though. You've been asleep for a couple of hours – it's two-thirty." I had? Wow.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Seth."

"What? Why?" He had a sort of _what is she on about?_ look on his face.

"For not being awake to make you lunch."

He laughed. "That's okay," he said. "I was just headed out."

"Where to?"

"Jake's. He left so quick last night I didn't really get to thank him properly." Being his mother, I could tell he was lying. But under the circumstances, that was irrelevant anyway. "I w–"

"No," I interrupted him. "You're not going to the Blacks'."

He let out a disbelieving noise. "Why?"

"Jacob has mono," I answered automatically, remembering my conversation with Billy earlier. The last thing I needed was my son getting mauled by an overgrown wolf.

"Is he okay?" Seth exclaimed with far too much concern. His brow was crumpled into an excruciatingly worried frown and his eyes were wide underneath them. Far, far too much concern indeed. Kind of like the reaction to be expected from me if something happened to Harry, or from Emily if something happened to Sam.

_Oh my god._

I'd had my suspicions for a while now that he liked someone who did not return those feelings – I was his mother; I got a feeling about these things – and I was dead certain he wasn't attracted to women, but _Jacob Black_? I didn't have a problem with homosexuality, but I couldn't cope right now with the thought of being in-laws with Billy.

I squashed my thoughts that were rapidly spiraling out of control, and answered my son.

"He's fine," I said. My voice sounded odd to me. "But Billy said no visitors, at least not for a while. Maybe a month or two, maybe less – I'm not sure."

That was the last conversation between the two of us.

I watched him sink further into depression over the next month, and I was pretty sure I knew the exact reason why. I tried pleading with Billy: begging him to let up on the no-one-is-allowed-to-see-Jacob rule – he had not kept to his word and Jake had not returned to school – and sharing my theory of Seth's feelings, but he persisted with weaker and weaker excuses every day.

Quil phased, putting the pack total to six.

Leah became increasingly moody, and she frequently rowed with Harry. During one of these rows, also one of the rare times when Seth graced the family with his presence, it happened.

I was sitting next to my son, across from my husband, and a few meters away from my daughter, who was flying into an almighty rage at her father. Seth was staring detachedly into nowhere, I had given up trying to calm Leah and so had diverted my attention to a book, Harry was patiently waiting out Leah's speech to shout back at her, and Leah was screaming, whilst almost shaking with anger.

"You never, _ever_ listen to me! I can't help it; I don't do this intentionally, and yet you have never even tried to help! You just sit on your lazy ass screaming at me! As if I give a fuck –"

"Don't you _dare_ use that word with me, young lady!"

"_Excuse me?_ I am nineteen years old! I am an adult! I can do whatever the hell I want!"

"Not as long as you live in my house! My house, my rules!"

"Don't you pull that crap on me!"

"I will pull all the crap I want on you as long as you're underneath my roof!"

"Ugh, you're such a cunt sometimes, you know that?"

"What… Did. You. Call. Me?"

"A cunt! Fucking deal with it!"

"_YOU WERE NEVER LIKE THIS BEFORE. SAM LEFT. GET OVER IT, LEAH._"

I looked up – that would strike a nerve. But what I saw in the following few seconds was far beyond what I expected.

Speechless, Leah began shaking violently, her whole body trembling uncontrollably. I would've gone to her to calm her down, but within a second she exploded into a huge grey wolf, taking out the couch Harry was sitting on. Adrenaline surged through my body instinctively, and my mind was past the shock before I'd even gasped. I'd prepared myself for this for when my son phased, and I decided I'd have time to worry about why my _daughter_ had shifted later. I moved myself to stand in front of her, and that was when I noticed Harry. He was motionless – even his chest was not moving with the rhythmic motion of breathing.

"Harry?" No answer. "Harry!" I screamed, rushing over to him. I knelt down by his side and placed three fingers on his wrist. I waited. There was no pulse – he had gone into cardiac arrest. How many times had I warned him about his cholesterol? How many times!

"Seth!" I yelled through my closed up throat. "Get me the phone!"

He tossed it to me and I immediately dialed Billy's number. After a few rings – a few too many – he answered.

"Hel–"

"Billy! It's Harry! Leah phased and the shock of it stopped his heart."

"What? I'll be right there, Sue." He hung up. I sniffed and wiped the freely flowing tears from my face.

"Should I call 911?" Seth asked, evidently desperate to do something.

"Have you noticed there's a wolf in the room, Seth?" I snapped fiercely at him. "But I am calling Sam."

Sam already knew of course; I had forgotten about the pack mind.

I started chest compressions as soon as I hung up on Sam, and I continued for far longer than the five minutes it would take for permanent brain damage.

"Sue," Sam murmured for the hundredth time, "he's gone. I'm sorry."

Exhausted, I sat back on my legs and wept. My husband was gone, that much was true, but I could not let my kids see me like this. I gathered all my energy to compose my face before turning away from my cold and lifeless Harry.

"I'm sorry Seth," I mouthed, for no sound came out. I stood up and held my arms out for him. He came in for a hug, and I noticed for the first time that he was taller than me. I held him as he released silent tears, trying to comfort and soothe him. But all too soon, and to my immense frustration, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it," Seth whispered.

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><p><em>AN: Hope you liked it; I didn't really think it sounds exciting at all D; So pleeeaaase tell me how to make my writing better, guys! Oh and sorry for cutting it off like that ^ ;)_


	7. Chapter 7: Gravity

_A/N: I could swear that my vocabulary is slowly dwindling, like I keep repeating adjectives because I can't think of synonyms. So frustrating.._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters and all credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.**

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><p><strong>Jacob Black<strong>

The polished wood door swung open slowly to reveal the hallway of the Clearwaters', a modern and stylishly decorated house that retained the warm and homely feel you'd expect from a cottage. The heated air would've been a relief if I still felt the cold.

Oh yeah, that's right, I was now a werewolf (a shape-shifter technically) and I now ran at a toasty one-oh-eight point nine degrees as a result. That being the reason I was able to wear shorts in March. That also being the reason I couldn't touch anyone who wasn't in on La Push's biggest secret. And there was no one I wanted to touch more right now than the boy in front of me.

There he stood, tears staining his beautiful face, looking so weak and fragile that I felt the overwhelming urge to comfort him, to protect him from anything, even with my life. From that moment on, I knew that nothing else would ever matter apart from him. I had been seeing the universe wrong – it was no longer gravity holding me down, it was him; we did not orbit the sun, everything revolved around him – he was the center of the universe.

Each exquisitely formed part of his body was perfect: his sooty hair that swept across his gorgeous face and down to his broad but boyish shoulders; his warm, chocolate eyes that overflowed with innocence and optimism even in the clearly distressed state he was in; his long, wet lashes that painted a dark barrier around those orbs; his small, angular nose, scarlet from weeping; his full, well-shaped lips that invited me in; his soft jawline and prominent cheekbones; the expanse of skin on his slender neck that begged to be kissed before disappearing underneath the sweater that was far too big – it concealed everything that I longed to see. The rest of him was covered by those darned clothes, but I had a pretty good guess that it would be just as perfect as the rest of him.

I realized what had happened. I felt the millions of steel cables that bound me to him. Nothing else mattered, only Seth.

Seth – my imprint.

I needed to put my arms around him, to hold him to me and never let him go, to shield him from all that life could throw at him.

So I ran. I hurtled away from the center of the universe with all my might, knowing that I would ruin this poor, innocent boy's life if I stayed there.

**Seth Clearwater**

I slammed the door. What the _fuck_ was his problem? Twice in a row he had now unexpectedly run away from me, this time without even talking to me! I guessed it was evidently alright now to show up at someone's door then disappear without uttering a word to them. Not to mention the fact that he looked at me with the most adoration I had ever seen from another living creature before. Oh, and did I mention, there was also two wolves in the back yard and my dead father in the living room? This was _so_ unfair!

"Argh!" I screamed, with a blind fury that felt like fire burning through my system. I attempted to hold my head in my hands, but couldn't – I didn't have hands. I had _paws_!

_Seth?_ two voices said in unison before shock came crashing down on me and darkness swallowed me up.

"Seth?" It was a deep male voice that I recognized.

"Huh?" I mumbled, struggling to push open my heavy lids.

"Sue, he's waking up," Sam said. Of course, Sam was the voice I heard. That was confirmed when I finally managed to open my eyes.

"Seth!" I heard my mom cry just before I saw her face join Sam's above me. "Honey, what do you remember?"

"Um…" What _did_ I remember? It was coming back to me, but painfully slowly. "I think I fainted."

"Yes." She looked worried. "And before that?"

Before that…

"Oh!" I sat up abruptly and looked down to check whether I had fur or skin. Definitely skin, so that was one thing at least.

"It's okay, Sam will explain everything," she promised with a hand on my shoulder. "But first, who was at the door?"

"Jacob," I said quietly, trying not to specify in my head the glorious face, the inviting body, the wonderful person behind that name.

"And where is he now?" she questioned as if she didn't quite believe me. "And more importantly, how could he leave you alone like this?"

"He didn't," I defended him. "He left without saying anything. Before I, er, became a wolf."

"How did that make you feel?" Sam asked in a soft tone. He sounded so ridiculously much like a social worker it was almost funny.

"Pretty mad," I confessed.

"And then you phased."

"I what?"

"Exploded into a giant wolf," he explained with a smirk.

"Yeah. How did you guess?"

"Well, that's likely the reason why you phased. Especially with all the stress you've been through this evening. With all that, it's really not that surprising you shifted so early. It's much more remarkable that _Leah_ phased."

"Sue Uley:" my mom mused, "proud mother of two werewolves."

"You're changing your name back?" I was slightly disappointed; it was as if she were already trying to forget dad.

"So Jacob just left?" She was obviously avoiding my question. I sighed.

But Sam interrupted. "He shouldn't even be seeing humans yet."

"Oh, come on Sam! It's been a whole month!" mom snapped at him. "Really, isn't that long enough?"

Sam scowled at her, but not in a particularly vicious way.

"Where's Leah?" I suddenly asked, remembering the huge gray wolf in the backyard.

"Here." I followed the direction her voice came from to see her sitting on the couch, no longer an animal. Weird, I half expected to see a mound of fur instead of my very human sister. Also weird was that I would've expected to be freaking out right about now. But instead I seemed to be taking it all in my stride and staying calm – aside from the fainting.

"Leah!" I jumped up and ran over to her. "You're human!" I exclaimed as I pulled her into a hug.

"Woah there, Seth," she cautioned. "It might be a while before either of us can control the whole shifting thing so, for now at least, it's best if we avoid close contact with anyone." I released her and stepped back with my hands behind my back. "And yes," she chuckled, "at this very moment I'm human."

"Leah?" Sam was suddenly beside us. "Do you think you can remember enough to explain the most important details to Seth? I would myself – it's just that I need to gather the rest of the pack and let them know about our newest arrival." He smiled down at me. He was huge – a good few inches taller than me – but I was pretty sure that Jake might just be taller.

"Sure," Leah answered. I could see and hear that it still pained her to talk to Sam. Poor Leah. Poor _us_. We both could not be with the ones we loved.

I sighed. I hoped that someday I could find a man just as good as Jacob.

And with that, Sam strode out the front door, leaving the three of us together as our strange new family: no father, but two werewolves instead.

**Sam Uley**

_Sam,_ Jared began the second I phased, _what happened? Why did you phase back to human form?_

_Seth has joined us,_ I answered bluntly.

_Aw c'mon,_ Paul moaned internally, _isn't one Clearwater enough for one night?_

_Shut up Paul,_ I said. _Has anyone seen Jacob?_ I felt bad about lying to Seth and Leah. The real reason I left was to find Jacob – something wasn't quite right.

_No,_ said Quil and Embry. I hadn't realized they were there.

Paul and Jared hadn't either.

_So he hasn't phased to his wolf form in the last couple hours then?_

_Not that any of us know of,_ Jared spoke on behalf of all of them.

_Why?_ thought Embry.

_Because apparently he showed up on the Clearwaters' doorstep and then took off without a word as soon as Seth opened the door. I need to check in with Billy to see if Jacob's there. If he's not, there's not much we can do about it, but it would still be nice to know._

_Hang on,_ said Quil, _I'm just outside Billy's – I'll do it._

_Okay, thanks,_ I said.

We felt Quil fade out of the pack mind.

_Embry, Paul, I don't need either of you on tonight; you can go home._

_You're the boss._ Paul was smug that he could get some sleep. I felt him phase back.

_Embry?_ I said after a few seconds.

_I'd prefer to wait and see whether Jake's home or not, if you don't mind,_ he explained.

_Sure, just don't blame me when your mom gets mad._

_Ugh, you got a point,_ he said dejectedly. _Let me know in the morning, okay?_

_See you at school,_ Jared said.

Embry shifted back and a few moments later Quil reentered the pack mind.

_And?_ I said to Quil.

_He's there, but he hasn't spoken to Billy since he got back, and that was around half an hour ago. He's locked himself in his room and it sounds like he's crying. Billy wanted me to ask you to talk to him as soon as possible._

_That's weird,_ I said, _I'd say he left the Clearwaters' around an hour ago. Anyway, doesn't matter, I'll go talk to him._

Jacob was in his room, as Billy said. It surprised me when as soon as I told him that it was me at the door, he flung it open and dragged me in.

"What's wrong?" I asked. What on earth could make a wolf cry?

"I think… I think I imprinted," he managed to choke out between sniffs.

"Oh come on, Jacob, imprinting's not all that bad. In fact, you _should_ be overjoyed. And, speaking of things you should be doing, why are you here? Why aren't you with her?"

"Well, that's part of the problem, see. It's not a _her_."

"Oh. Well, on the bright side, your name will go in the history books. You're the first wolf ever – well, that we know of – to imprint on a male human." This sort of grossed me out a little bit but I was trying not to show it. Who would've thought that of all people Jacob Black would end up gay?

"I guess." It seemed to be working.

"So do I know him?" I asked with hesitation. I was afraid the answer might be yes.

"Yeah." He frowned down into his lap where he was nervously twiddling his thumbs. I waited for him to continue but he didn't.

"Okay… You want to tell me who he is?"

"Not really."

_Well tough, pack life doesn't allow for secrets._

"Whether you like it or not, we'll find out as soon as you next phase, so it's probably easier if you just tell me now," I said, trying to use as little authority as possible in my tone. I was the alpha; it was my job to lead the pack, and that's usually easier when everyone likes you.

"Fine," he spat. "It's Seth. I imprinted on Seth Clearwater." No matter how hard he was trying to appear angry, it melted away as soon as he said the name. I knew the feeling – it was impossible not to feel blissful and content whenever you thought of your imprint.

_Ugh, I bet Emily's already gone to sleep. I feel bad about that. I'll make it up to her tomorrow: I'll take her out to dinner someplace real nice._

"Well then, it now seems that nobody has imprinted on a male human," I murmured to myself. But of course, wolf hearing will pick up anything.

"What?"

"You heard that, huh? Okay Jacob, stay calm about this. After you left the Clearwaters', Seth phased for–"

"He _what_?" he roared. "Oh my god, I have to go find him!" He was out of the room before I could even react.

I sighed. If this weren't a situation involving an imprinter and an imprintee, I would probably have stopped Jacob, but it was.

Being an alpha was so much easier when it was just the three wolves.

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><p><em>AN: Too many POV changes in this chapter, which I don't like doing. On a brighter note, I'm hoping I'll finish the next chapter within two or three days. Huzzah! Omg that's such a great word. I love anyone who's reading this, and it's great reading reviews. Especially ones that critique my writing, otherwise how am I supposed to get better? So if you're going to write a review, please please please point out any bad things instead of just saying "this is great cant wait till next chapter!" etc. And also, if you have any questions for whatever reason, feel free to message me. Not because I'm lonely or anything.. heh..._


	8. Chapter 8: Three

_A/N: I KNOW. I said 2 or 3 days and it's been 4. Sorry. I would explain why, but I doubt you care about my personal live. But yeah, this was my favourite chapter to write, so hopefully you'll enjoy._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters and all credit goes to Stephenie Meyer.**

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><p><strong>Seth Clearwater<strong>

"Yeah," I said, "I know. I paid attention when I was little, unlike some people it seems. Sam really had to tell you all of it again?"

"Hey!" Leah retorted playfully. "It was longer ago for me! And when I was little, I had better things to do. Oh wait, I still do. This whole being a werewolf thing kind of sucks a bit. I mean, seriously, I have plans and everything and now I'm being told I can't see anyone? All my friends are going to think I hate them or something."

Being a werewolf sucks? Was she crazy?

"No way!" I cried. "Being a wolf is awesome!"

"Typical Seth," she chuckled.

"Right," mom suddenly said, "make yourselves some sandwiches or something – I need to be alone. I'll see you in the morning." She turned quickly and hurried up the staircase. Poor mom, it definitely couldn't be easy losing your husband.

Myself, I didn't quite care for grieving right now, but I could feel it coming. And besides, I didn't trust Leah's good mood to last long. So I decided it would be better to break down alone.

"I'm not hungry," I muttered before heading towards the stairs that led to my bedroom and bathroom. That was my favourite thing about this quirky house: my room was completely separate from the rest of the upstairs – it didn't even share a wall with it.

"Are you okay?" Leah called after me.

"What do you think?" I managed to say before I started sobbing. My father was _dead_. How on earth was I going to be okay?

I didn't bother to close my door, as I was the only one who came up here. I sat on the floor and buried my face in my knees, soaking my pants in tears.

I had been sitting like this for a while when my nostrils were suddenly assailed by the most heavenly scent: deep woods and spice. Wishful thinking gone crazy, I heard his voice as well.

"Seth?" The voice was worried. I decided not to respond, hoping it would speak again. How I loved to listen to that husky tone.

But feeling a hand on my shoulder, _that_ was too real.

"Seth, what's wrong?"

I looked up slowly, trying not to hope that he was really there, to avoid disappointment when he wasn't. But he was. In all his glorious beauty, he truly was there. And in nothing more than a pair of cut-off jeans – maybe I had died and gone to heaven. Everything about his bared skin was arousing – the crushing biceps, the huge pectoral muscles standing proud above the stomach wrapped snugly in an _eight_-pack. The muscle on the man before me was so incredibly distracting that it took a monumental effort to tear my eyes from his superbly sculpted chest and focus on his face. But when I did, I saw in those beautiful brown eyes that same look of adoration that was there earlier. If eyes could melt, this is what I would imagine they'd look like.

"Jacob? What are you doing here? How did you get in?" The questions were rushed into one long stream of words.

"Yes, I'm Jacob." I blushed at the obvious answer to my ridiculous first question. He smirked in a rather attractive fashion. "I'm here to see you, and your sister let me in."

"I'm confused," I said. "Why do you want to see me now, when you so obviously didn't earlier?"

His brow crumpled and his lips pulled down at the corners, as if he were expecting something unpleasant. But his eyes sparkled like he was hoping for the opposite.

"Can I sit down?" he asked hesitantly.

"Oh, sure," I said. I got up from the floor and sat down on my bed, gesturing for him to do the same. We sat cross-legged facing each other, and he began chewing on his lip whilst staring over my head, so I figured he must be thinking. I let him.

The situation seemed rather intimate: we were closer to each other than normal speaking distance and there was a certain electricity in the air between us. I took the time to study his eyes since they weren't on me for the moment. They were a very dark brown, but definitely not black. Most brown eyes look rather like mud, but not his. There was something in them, perhaps the very faint lighter stripes shooting out from the pupil, that made them seem sort of like they were made of agate.

"You've been crying," he suddenly said. I hadn't realised his eyes had focused on me again.

"Yeah, your dad dying does that to you," I mumbled.

He stared intently at my face for a minute. I thought he would persist with the subject, but he seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk about it.

"Seth, what do you know about imprinting?" he asked me. The sudden change of topic took me off guard.

"Er, I remember the legends. Well, I guess they're not legends anymore. Hey, did you know I phased?" I tried to sound cheery, but I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

"Yeah, I just found out," he said. "But I was going to say… I imprinted." There it was. A barrage of sharp pains assaulted my chest and the all too familiar lump in my throat returned for the second or third time today. I was going to start crying again if I wasn't careful. The man I loved was now bound for eternity to some girl by some stupid supernatural bond. I could never, _ever_ be with him now. I mean it wasn't really like I had a chance before, but at least it wasn't impossible then.

"That's… great," I choked, trying to force back the tears that were threatening to escape, "but why are you telling me this?"

"Please don't hate me Seth, but because I imprinted on you."

I couldn't possibly be hearing this right, but his voice was so full of love and sincerity that I couldn't deny it was evidently the truth. No, he couldn't really have. But he had! This explained _so_ much. Well, not all that much, but enough. The way he stared at me earlier, the way he continued to stare at me now. The man I loved imprinted on _me_. I could be with him forever – literally.

"Seth," he whispered, moisture round his eyes and a look of almost devastation on his face, "please give me a chance. Please let me show you I can be everything you'd ever want and need." He had no idea how true that already was. "Please. I love you."

At that moment, it seemed as if everything was right with the world. Those three words – no, those three words uttered by his perfect lips – were all it took to complete me. I was positive that there was nothing else in the world that could ever make me feel even close to how I felt right now.

"Jacob Black," I breathed, "you have absolutely no idea how much I've longed to hear those words. I'm in love with you too. I love you."

He stared wordlessly into my eyes, and I returned his gaze. But this lasted only a fleeting second, for he placed his hand under my chin and began leaning in slowly. My eyes became slightly lidded, my breathing picked up, and my heart accelerated to begin beating at the speed of sound. I noticed all the same changes in him, plus the added sparkle in his eyes, which I guessed was in mine too. It was all so new to me – I had never been romantically involved with anyone in my life – but it felt so natural with him. As he inched ever closer to me I realized the significance of this moment. This was to be my first kiss, with the first person I had ever been in love with. I also realized that, due to the nature of the imprint, this was the last person I would ever fall in love with and the only person I would ever kiss.

The anticipation in the moment before the kiss was only surpassed by the ecstasy of the moment in which his lips met mine. The contact sent shocks running through my system and a passionate fire began burning, spreading out from the point where our lips touched. But he was so careful and delicate that I couldn't believe it was really him. You would not expect someone so… well, huge to be capable of such control and tenderness.

Well, I was wrong about one thing: _this_ felt even better than those three golden words, and the great thing was that I knew that this was the very bottom limit of physical contact. This was a completely innocent kiss, devoid of any sexual undercurrent whatsoever, so I was certain that the other things he was capable of doing would be far better indeed.

I wondered idly how many teenagers these days didn't use tongues during their first kiss with their boyfriend. Probably just me. But I didn't care – there would be plenty of time for that considering neither of us was aging and we would love each other forever.

I still couldn't believe it. This glorious creature really loved me.

All too soon, said glorious creature pulled back. But thankfully he kept contact with me by taking my hands in his. When I opened my eyes, he was looking down at our hands with a slight smile curving his mouth.

"You're wearing it," he murmured, stroking the bracelet on my wrist. It was the bracelet that he wove with his own hands, featuring my name in front of the pattern made from honey, apples, and roses. I had that pattern almost memorized – the bracelet had been my small piece of Jacob and I looked at it often. But now I had all of Jacob to look at. Well, not quite all. At least not yet.

"Mm-hmm… Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," he breathed into my ear, leaning forward. I giggled at the sensation – his hot breath tickled. He turned his head to kiss the side of my face gently before leaning back again. What could I possibly have done in my life to deserve Jacob? "Actually, hold on one second," he said. I watched him stretch his legs out and rest his back against the headboard, then let him pull me back to lean against his shoulder.

"Comfy?" I chuckled.

"Very," I heard him say from behind me. Well that made two of us; I for one was exceedingly comfortable. Jake's bare flesh was so warm and his arm fell perfectly round me. "So what were you going to say?"

"Well," I said as I rested my head against his neck, "I was just wondering: why honey, apples, and roses?"

"Well at the time it was just to do with a dream I had, but now I know exactly why," he half explained.

"Why?"

"It's how you smell," he whispered into my hair. He inhaled deeply through his nose as if to reinforce that.

How could anyone smell of apples? Or roses or honey, if I'm honest. I sniffed my shoulder, but it just smelt like Jacob to me, probably due to the very close proximity between us. How many times had I dreamt of being in this position? It was hard to grasp that he really was mine.

"Okay," he laughed, "that's how you smell to me."

"You want to know how you smell to me?" I asked.

"How do I smell to you, then?"

"You have a fresh, earthy smell, like the scent of the deepest woods, but it's mixed with an element of spice. It's delicious." I could almost hear the look of amusement spreading across his face.

"When did you fall in love with me?" he suddenly said.

"The twenty-first of January," I answered automatically. I remembered the feeling so clearly and I relived it so many times that I knew the exact date.

"And you kept quiet about it all this time?" He sounded saddened by that.

"Of course. What reason would there ever be for you feeling the same way if you hadn't imprinted on me today?"

"Oh Seth, I'm so sorry you had to live through thinking that." He hugged me close to him and I practically melted into his chest. "But just so you know," he murmured, "I'm pretty sure I was beginning to feel the same way anyway."

I turned my head to look at him. "You were?" This knowledge released a warm, fuzzy feeling deep inside me.

He took the opportunity to plant another tender kiss on my lips. If I wasn't careful, I'd soon end up as a puddle of Seth on the sheets.

"Yes," he breathed.

My lids were starting to get rather heavy, and he seemed to notice.

"It's getting late," he said, "and you need your sleep after today." He sat me up and got off the bed.

"Will you stay?" I pleaded.

He turned to face me and grinned. His smile was so gorgeous.

"Yes?" I questioned hopefully. His smile only got bigger, so I took that as a yes. I smiled back.

I wasn't too sure about getting undressed in front of him, but he was soon in just his boxers so I quickly followed.

"So beautiful," he purred, sauntering towards me. Ha, if there was anyone here who was beautiful, it was him. He raised his hand and rubbed his thumb on my cheek before kissing me again, then led me under the covers.

The last thing I remember was him whispering _I love you_ as I lay in his arms.

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><p><em>AN: Aw I really did enjoy writing this, so I hope you enjoyed reading it just as much. If not, drop a review below to let me know what you didn't like so I can improve. Thanks to everyone who reviews, especially those who take the time to highlight certain parts they liked/disliked. It means a lot to me._


	9. Author's Note

**~ HIATUS ~**


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